Signs of a Change

If your birthday falls between November 29th and December 17th then you can now confidently claim to be born under the sign of the serpent bearer Ophiuchus.

You may go on to proudly explain that due to the probabilisitally insignificant event of your birth in this 19 day window you are honest and jealous as well as being sexually magnetic and easily bored.

News comes that due to the precession of the earth, cracks are forming in the the granite foundations upon which Astrologers build their trade. Due to a wobble in Earth's orbit, the direction in which the north pole point changes over a 25,000 year or so cycle. This means that all Ptolemy's hard work in charting the skies back in around 100A.D. is now slightly out of kilter.

So the new zodiac goes a little something like this:

Capricorn: January 20 to February 16
Aquarius: February 16 to March 11
Pisces: March 11 to April 18
Aries: April 18 to May 13
Taurus: May 13 to June 21
Gemini: June 21 to July 20
Cancer: July 20 to August 10
Leo: August 10 to September 16
Virgo: September 16 to October 30
Libra: October 30 to November 23
Scorpio: November 23 to 29
Ophiuchus: November 29 to December 17
Sagittarius: December 17 to January 20

In central central London today, one person is quoted as saying;
"Oh no, I'm a bloody Aquarius. They're more innovative, which makes sense, but Aquarius sucks balls. Why can't I be Ophiuchus?"